Talk show. Ladies and Gentlemen! Peasants of the village! From the cold North, behind the mountains,
and they have someone with them… …with the blond long hair,
a very handsome guy. We’re back on
“The Brotherhood of Wowis”. Thanks a lot! – Scottish?
– Scottish! – Scottish!
– Or Irish… And Irish…
The same, potato potato. Let’s move straight to the jokes. We feared that our guests
wouldn’t be that good… …so we thought that we need to
add some jokes at the end. – A segment.
– A segment. Here are today’s jokes. Didn’t have any intro. Okay, who’s got a joke,
everybody hopefully? – Yes, sure.
– Vegard, please start. – Should I start?
– Yes. Okay. Should I present it in a proper way? Stand up, do it properly, deliver
your joke, and then we can talk about it. This is a simple, traditional and
good joke, which I found online. – Shall we say where we found it too?
– Apparently. – Okay. Then I’ll do that.
– You sort of set the standard. If you start to wave this one about,
then we have to as well. Then I say it one more time, then.
I found it online. Okay. Here it is. A Christian father says to his son…
We can call him Harry. “Harry, you need to stop masturbating,
otherwise you’ll become blind.” And then Harry says:
“Dad, I’m over here.” – Yes, by all means.
– Yes! – It’s a sex joke.
– Yes, it’s a sex joke. – A dirty joke.
– It always works, it’s very popular. – Sex is very funny.
– Yes. – I like that it’s so short and good.
– Yes, it was very quick. But I don’t think the punchline
really lives up to… – It’s a bit unrealistic.
– Unrealistic? Yes, that scenario… It’s part of those old jokes that it’s
always things that never happens. He knows he’s blind.
Why would he say that? The Swede and the Dane goes into
a cave, where there is farting pig… The dramaturgy was nice,
and then there was a punchline. – A score 4/6 joke.
– In theory it was very nice. Larsen? – My turn?
– Yes. – An English joke.
– An English joke? Or in the English language. – Do you know where it’s from?
– Most likely from England. The amount of knowledge. Yes. A dwarf walked into the doctor’s office
and asked the doctor: “When can you treat me?
You have to treat me now!” And the doctor replied:
“You just have to be a little patient”. – I write this on my note: Pun.
– Pun. – A pun in English.
– A pun in English. You get to think a little bit more with
a pun in English, than one in Norwegian. I think that the audience like to feel clever. The feeling of “Ah, I know the double
meaning of patient and patient”. You mean that you’re really
clever if you get that one? No, but it helps. – I think his joke was better than yours.
– Okay. – But maybe it’s to early to rate them.
– Agree to disagree. – Should I tell mine?
– Yes. I have a Turkish joke. It’s in
Norwegian, but it has a Turkish origin. – I just need to adjust my pants.
– Is it not about Turks? Well, the back story is that they like to…
It’s the thing about Turks and Greeks… They makes jokes about each other, a bit
like Swedes, Danes and Norwegians. – It’s about a Turk.
– Come on! – Perhaps it’s a Greek joke.
– Most likely a Greek joke. Stop focusing on that. A Turkish man is about to commit suicide
and goes to a subway station. He stands on the tracks
with a piece of bread in his hand. Then he stands there waiting to die.
Somebody asks him about the bread. And then he replies: “What if the train doesn’t come?
Do you want me to starve to death?” Thanks a lot! – Well…
– I liked it. – Well…
– What “well…”? – Well…
– Is it because you look a bit Turkish? – No.
– “It’s not realistic”. – “It’s not realistic”.
– “You shouldn’t do that to us”. – “We don’t have subways in Turkey”.
– Good point. – But professionally?
– Let’s vote. – Just choose one. I vote for Calle’s joke.
– I also vote for Calle’s joke. Of course it was the long haired man from
Bergen who won the joke competition. Okay, congratulations,
you won “Joke of the week”. – Absolutely.
– Thanks a lot, thanks a lot! – There, there.
– There, there. It’s our ambition that this show
should deal with recent events… – …and that people should turn to us…
– It should be a buzz on social media. On Facebook, Twitter, Nettby,
LinkedIn and MSN. By this brand new pilot episode
that everybody will know about. We started a help desk segment where
people can send us their questions. – And we’ll do our best to answer them.
– Here is “Ylvis’ Help desk”, Today’s Questions. Hi, and a heartfelt welcome. Today we’ve got a letter from a 10
year old boy from Eina. It reads: “I’ve inherited this sailboat from
my grandfather who passed away.” Unfortunately the bow is broken,
could you please help me repair it? We can help him with that. We had the ship delivered.
It looks very fancy. How will you fix this? A piece of the bow, or the stem,
as we call it, broke off. This little piece. We’ll glue it back on. To glue it back on we take this tube of
glue and remove the cap of it. Then we put some glue on
the edge of the break on the ship. – And around?
– Yes, and around. Then it’s good to have som support,
and lean on someone to get it exact. – We also put some glue on the piece.
– Exactly. It’s important to put glue on
both surfaces, not just one. There. And then you just put
them together, and hold… …them together for a little while. Let’s see. You mess about a bit with it,
so you get the bow on it properly. And then you hold them
together and after… It’s often pretty difficult
to get the right grip of it. You could put it away and
you could use it for support. – There! Now it’s on.
– It wasn’t harder than that. There is the boat… There. Here we can see the importance
of using super glue. – The stem is already on the ship.
– Gosh! Thank you, Vegard.
Really nice. Now we have a question that a lot
of people have wondered about. It’s about exercise.
We’ve got this letter: “Dear Ylvis and Calle. I think it’s to
expensive to work out at a gym.” “Do you have any tips on things I can
do at home, so I get as fit as you?” Of course we do. Working out at
a gym is terribly expensive. There are a lot of less
expensive ways to exercise. Let’s see some easy exercises. I’m going to show you this
very basic exercise. – The side roll.
– The side roll. Which muscle group do you
exercise with that one? – Especially the gluteal muscles.
– Yes, the gluteal muscles. – Yes, especially those.
– Yes. The next one is for the abs,
then you sit like this… – …and then you lie down in the corner.
– Yes. And then you push out. – Do you have any more exercises?
– There is an ocean of them. Could you use other things than the ball?
Or do you need the ball? The ball isn’t necessary.
Vegard? You could also do pilates on a mat,
which Vegard is going to show you. – So he puts it on the wall?
– Yes, you can do that. – Just to get it rolled out?
– Yes. It shouldn’t be too hectic,
it’s a bit about calmness. – It’s like meditation.
– Yes. To take a well deserved breather. – Preferably together with friends.
– Preferably with friends. It’s important to enjoy it and have fun,
otherwise working out easily gets very… – Exercising should be a social matter.
– It should. That could be the conclusion. No reason to hesitate,
start doing pilates. Thanks a lot for watching,
please send us more suggestions. See you later! Today’s Questions. Thanks a lot.
That was basically all we had today. Perhaps not all of you have seen all
of it, so we thought that we should… …summarize it for you, in case
you’ve been to the toilet… …with a hard turd, as we say in
Bergen, that could take a while. We’ll summarize. Thanks a lot. – Have you found the sound?
– Not entirely. – If you’ve sound, you’re allowed.
– As he said. And there! It’s possible that this will
get even better on the show. Oh, my!
Thanks a lot! – Who should begin?
– I can begin. It’s started with Kåre Magnus Berg having
a seat, being pleased my all my questions. And then we watched some clips
we’re everybody laughed. But most people probably thought: “Too bad that they were three,
they should’ve been two.” But all probably thought: “To bad that they were three,
they should’ve been two.” Okay. Okay. And then Marie came
and told us about the election. Luckily she didn’t anything
about the sale of Dagbladet. Now we’ve gotten so much
better to elect a party… …so now we finally can get our
country on the move. So now we finally can get our
country on the move. Thanks a lot for
watching this pilot episode. Hope you thought it was good,
and not just a mess. Oh, now I feel that I really
need to use the loo… But before I leave I must say:
“A very nice shoe!” But before I leave I must say:
“A very nice shoe!” Thanks a lot!