Why You Shouldn’t Have Airport Sex – Sex Fails (feat. Yedoye Travis)

Why You Shouldn’t Have Airport Sex – Sex Fails (feat. Yedoye Travis)

– I am Yedoye Travis. This is why you don’t
fuck at the airport or you do, I don’t know. I don’t know what your
takeaway from this is gonna be. A couple years ago, I
wanna say, like 2014? It was in the 2014
to 2020 range. It was post-college,
pre-now, that’s all I know. I was in a long
distance relationship. We almost didn’t see
each other at all, which is bad. Relationships are
based on proximity. You could be proximitous. Don’t do long distance. There was one summer
in particular. She was flying in on a
layover to Canada or some, I don’t, I don’t remember. We had a total of three hours. We made a plan. We’re just meeting
up, meetup.com. Show her the town. The town is my dick. Planned sex, in general, it seems stupid in retrospect. It’s like planning a child. Either you can
decide in the moment to not have a baby or
you can have a baby. This analogy feels
like it’s bad. All planned sex is
just a nightmare. Between now and three
months from now, I’m gonna be horny again. Imagine trying to pinpoint that. Imagine trying to lock it into
three-hour period of a day. It’s, ew, it’s, no. A few months pass, this
flight is comin’ up. I’m drivin’ to the airport,
trying to time it perfectly. When she gets out of the door,
I’m already at the airport ’cause otherwise, I
gotta loop around. This is not the time
to wanna loop around. What if, after the first loop, I’ve unhornied myself? Just, like, pick up,
intersect perfectly. Car, person, bam. The, just the rendezvous, rendezvous is a word you
would use in this situation. So that happens in my 2001
Ford Mustang convertible, if that’s a, if you
needed all those details. It’s a good car for sex. Okay, well, no. It’s a good car
for driving to sex. For the act itself? Get a SUV, maybe a van. Honestly, they get a bad
rap but those white vans, they’re the right size. You can fit a person in there. Technically, if I
take the top down, I can stack people infinitely. That’s not the situation
we’re dealin’ with. We look insane. (laughing) We’re just driving
around the airport. We go into the parking
deck, strollin’ around. My horniness to
anxiety is, I’d say, horny here, anxiety, I’d
give it, like, a here. I’m a very anxious person. We get into parking spaces,
we make out a little bit. No, this doesn’t feel right. We move to a different
parking space. Horniness, down slightly,
anxiety, (sighs). Loop around, park again. No, this one doesn’t feel right. (imitates engine
rumbling) Loopin’ around. Horniness here,
anxiety (grumbles). We end up on the
roof in the L.A. sun, in a convertible, hot as fuck. We had the roof
closed, roof was up. To quote Nas, the titties
was very much not out, if you remember that song. Does anybody remember that song? Look, long story short, clothes
come off and then it’s over. It’s over, the sex is done. The sex was so fast, it’s not even worth describing. We spent so much more
time, just in transit than we did actually having sex. I thought it was a good idea, once we’re done with
this heinous act, to get dressed again. She has different plans, she just sits in the
car, clothes off. What kind of demon are you where you don’t think
it’s a good idea to put your clothes back on? I’ve never seen so little
fear in a person’s eyes. So now, I’m just
sitting in a car, fully clothed, with this woman. I look like I’ve stolen
a person (laughs). As this is going on, there’s just another car circling the parking
lot for awhile. That car’s been there
the entire time. It was there when we got there. Your horny brain just kinda
lets you ignore stuff like that. We were definitely surveilled. What, are we being watched? When that person
decides to strike with whatever
information they have, that’s the end of me and
it could come at any time. I’m just trying to get out in front of the
controversy, you know? If you have a sex tape of me, just know the world
already knows. (upbeat music)

20 thoughts on “Why You Shouldn’t Have Airport Sex – Sex Fails (feat. Yedoye Travis)

  1. 44% of black babies are aborted, 100 years ago the Democrat Party, descendants of Civil War slave owners, came up with a "soft" genocide for African Americans. The goal? Be like NYC with a 60% black abortion rate. Majority of blacks SUPPORT  Democrat Plantation. Civil War lost?

  2. 5 Oh trust me I've been in that "surveillance situation" where I was being tutored on driving and we come across this Bike and the instructor spotted the couple having at it each other and since it was a vacant parking lot with alot of trees beside it he said ok we're gonna go practice your U-Turns and we did that for 30 MINUTES and when the couple started noticing we move along then come back around a few minutes later lol

  3. Sex belong in marriage between husband and wife, male and female but decern if your partner has the holy spirit or a demonic spirit before you commit for life but check self 1st⏳

  4. This series brought back an unfortunate memory:
    In the early 80’s I agreed to go home with a girl I knew at the end of her shift as a waitress at a dive bar. I was not attracted to her, but she was flirting, so I went for it…as guys do. She lived with her parent(s) but had her own apartment in the attic. As we were driving there at 2AM, a speeding car almost wiped us out at an intersection. I should have just dropped her off and gone home, but I was 22.

    We got to her place and it turns out the attic wasn’t finished, had no heat, one bare lightbulb and a bare mattress…and it was November in Boston! No worries, I’m doing this. She then informed me that she was on her period. Um, OK. She tries blowing me, but her chipped tooth kept scaping me, so I reached for her zipper. I peeled her pants off and went for it. She was a “big” girl, but I wasn’t expecting this…her legs were hard as rocks, like over-stuffed sausages. I can do this! Keep going! So I went for it. It didn’t take long, probably because by now I really want to GTF out of there. I zipped up and ran down the stairs and raced home.

    I felt itchy when I got home so I suspected the worst. Turns out is was just dried period blood on my junk. I washed it off, but it really stung for a few days.

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