Thoughts on Romance and Sex in an Airport

Thoughts on Romance and Sex in an Airport


Good morning, Hank, as you can tell by the grey speckled walls behind me, I’m in an airport. It’s Question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real Nerdfighters. Today I’m going to answer questions about love, and sex. When do you think it’s okay to lose your virginity? You know, call me old fashioned, but I don’t think 34 year old men vlogging in airports should decide when other people have sex. I like this guy and I think he likes me back, but I’m not sure. How do I find out for sure? I’m gonna tell you what I tell Henry several times a day: “Use your words!” Just talk to him – if you start going out you’re going to have to talk to him anyways. There’s a girl in my school who I like but I don’t exactly know- JUST ASK HER using your words! You’re not an Avox! Wait – or are you? If you’re an Avox, write it down. What is your stand on birth control pills? I try not to stand on birth control pills at all; I think it might decrease their effectiveness. How do you say no to sex without offending your partner? To answer your question, lets make a Venn Diagram. Let this circle be asshats and here are the people who get offended when you say no to sex. Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept with? No, and it particularly bothers me that women are held to a different standard on this front than men. Also, it’s such a weird thing to care about. Like, imagine if I started eating cheerios for breakfast would cheerios be like “I’m the 48th cereal you’ve tried eating, I don’t feel special!” Well, then screw you cheerios I can’t go into the past and un-eat all those cereals but that doesn’t mean I don’t genuinely enjoy your whole grain crunch. How do I know he’s the “one”? I don’t think there is one “one”. Have you ever had a crush on a band member? Let me ask your question with a question: is Toby Turner in a band? John, do you ship wholock? Sometimes I feel like you guys just make up words to confuse me. When is it too soon to say “I love you?” Just remember you can’t un-ring that bell. Have you ever wanted to experience giving birth? No, I’ve seen birth. No. Yeah, no. No, no, no…no. Is there a way to tell if he actually cares or if he just wants a hookup? Yeah is he a douchebag? The first time you saw the Yeti, did you think she was the one? No, the first time I saw the Yeti she was in 8th grade and I did not think, ‘Oh I’m gonna marry that 8th grader!’ What do you think of an “Othello” kind of love? You mean the kind where you beat up the love of your life and then kill her? I’m opposed to it. In your opinion, is pre-marital sex wrong? I certainly don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with pre-marital sex. Like for example, it’s legal for gay people to be married in some states but not in others and it’s a little bit ridiculous to say that it’s possible for gay people to have morally justifiable sex in Vermont but not in Mississippi. Frankly, I don’t really see it as my job to tell people who they should have sex with or under what circumstances. Also this is an awkward thing to talk about in an airport. *sings* The people in the airport think that I’m crazy. The people in the airport think that I’m crazy. And maybe I am to be fair. What is the secret to a successful marriage? Mutual generosity, also it’s nice that you can like the same television programs. Is it wrong to do gay stuff, like just kissing? Aw man, your question makes me so sad. No, of course it’s not wrong. If you wanna kiss someone and that person wants to kiss you back that is awesome. And don’t let anyone tell you you should be ashamed about that. People are so ashamed about their sexuality but you shouldn’t be. It’s great! I’m talking about it in Terminal A of the Indianapolis airport. On average, what animal takes the longest to copulate? I don’t know, but I do know that llama sex lasts like two hours because male llamas experience something called “dribble ejaculation”. How do I know these things? He loves me and I don’t love him and he won’t take no for an answer? Yeah, then he doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even respect your right to choose your own romantic partners. Is it weird that I’m in college and I’ve never kissed anyone? Not at all, as evidenced by the fact that your question was the most thumbed up out of the hundreds I got on Facebook. How do you cover up a hickey? Hickies are still a thing? I never understood hickies. It’s like, “I like you, so I’m gonna suck on your neck until there’s bruising.” How can I ask someone if he’s gay in a subtle way? *in pig latin* Are you gay? Just ask them! Use your words! Nerdfighters, thanks for the great questions. Hank, I have to go get on a plane. I will see you on Friday!

99 thoughts on “Thoughts on Romance and Sex in an Airport

  1. i just about got a heartattack when he said toby turner and wholock in less the 5 seconds

  2. if I'm scared in a situation around people I know I start talking in pig Latin and won't stop till the awkward or scary conversation is long over

  3. For a few of your answers involving "USE YOUR WORDS", I laughed and understand, and although I haven't been in situations where I need to ask people those things, I can assume that in their specific context it might not work out well to just come out and ask, usually because of the way they may be received.

  4. Do't just ask somebody if they are gay, too many straight people get offended by that. Don't ask somebody you've never even said hi to if they like you, they may get creeped out. #advicefromagaymanwhohasbeensingleforoverayear

  5. Around 2:00 MIGHT be why you are flagged as a person of interest when you try to get in Canada 😛

    Also, would you buy a car (that you are going to enjoy for 8-10 years) without first trying it? No? Then why would you do that with a human that you are going to marry for life?!

  6. Insomnia

    My eyes have grown muddy
    Wide open all the same.
    Endless night of study;
    As I think of your name

    They’ve burnt red for your sake,
    Trapped in a devout sin.
    Feverish dream of wake;
    As I think of your skin.

    Your return is their balm
    It heals and yields fresh start.
    In this moment of calm;
    As I think of your heart.

    And now they drift away,
    I doze out of control.
    LeAnne, my sleep will sway;
    As I think of your soul.

  7. The people in the airport think that I'm crazy.
    The people in the airport think that I'm crazy.
    The people in the airport think that I'm crazy.

  8. People get really offended if you ask them if they are gay. Also asking people you like is really awkward when they say no.  

  9. This video makes me feel good that there are so many people who agree with John Green, and sad that the whole world isnt Just like John Green

  10. I get this strange feeling right before "using my words" and I really don't like it. It leads  me to not use my words.

  11. John Green you are a gift to the world I don't know whether to laugh or cry especially the part about sexualities just thank you okay

  12. I read John Green novels before watching vlogbrothers and I have to say, the people in the airport are right: you just might be crazy. In oddly related news, I'm a bit self-conscious about leaving a comment for a writer because I'm scared my grammar isn't right.
    PS: this is the best vlogbrothers video I've seen. (Best of John anyway).
    PPS: I should stop watching YouTube and go get a life.

  13. This might be one of the few videos on YouTube where the real dialogue might ACTUALLY be a bit weirder than the YouTube auto closed captioning…

  14. I love John's answer to the gay kissing question. It seemed so genuine and was quite touching at how he seemed actually sad in his tone of voice.

  15. as long as you are not gay and want to know if the other person is gay because you are attracted to that person, you should not ask if some one is gay!

    Kind regards
    gay person

  16. This made me wonder: how famous will you have to be, best-selling author of 4 books and internet sensation John Green, before people won't think you're weird for talking into a camera in an airport?

  17. "People in the airport think that I'm crazy, people in the airport think that I'm crazy, and maybe I am crazy." New York Times best seller John Green.

  18. The early 2010 really were the golden era of this channel. Not to say that they are bad now, but they are certainly less good than back then, unfortunately. And this is no nostalgia, I firstly watched them last year, I just find the videos between 2011 and 2014 to be the most interesting to watch.

  19. And people judge my mom for waiting 2 weeks or so before responding to my dad's marriage proposal

    Not that he was very forceful; it was written on a tiny note and not even given to her directly.

    (It does work!)
    #BredToBeANerdfighter

  20. These guys have such amazing perspective and are so smart but it is important to know they don't know everything and they have their own biases. That being said I'm a big fan

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  23. Hey. "How do you know if it's too soon to say 'I love you'?" asker here…… We're getting married in October. 😉 I told him literally with this video when it first went up, haha!

  24. This video is iconic. The cereal analogy and 'the people in the airport think that I'm crazy' tune all in one video

  25. I'm currently in an airport in between flights, and throughout most of my first flight two things were going through my mind almost constantly, "The people in the airport think that I'm crazy." repeated over and over again, mixed in with snatches of Wierd Al's song Albuquerque. So I searched for this Vlogbrother's video so I could watch the part about the people in the airport thinking John's crazy, and I found the quote I've been looking for for a year! "USE YOUR WORDS!" unfortunately, I can't remember the context in which I was searching for this…

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