The Worst Types Of People On Airplanes: Whine About It

The Worst Types Of People On Airplanes: Whine About It


– Uh… attention ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speakin’. Uh… we’re approachin’ 30,000 feet. Uh… thought I’d do a little
rap for ya up here. Get ready for it. Uh… ♫ Whine about it ♫ Whine about it ♫ Whine about it ♫ Whine about it ♫ Hey everyone! My name is Matt Bellassai and this is Whine About
It, a weekly video series where I get drunk at my desk
and complain about stuff. On this week’s episode, the worst types of people
who take airplanes with me. I know, everyone’s got their
airplane stories, alright? But this is my struggle. (dramatic music) Let’s drink! (bossa nova music) (coughs) She’s a sour one. (bossa nova music) Oh god. Alright. First of all, there’s always
that one bloated genital wart who thinks it’s acceptable
to recline their (bleep) seat 10 seconds into every (bleep) flight. Fitting me into an airplane seat is like tryin’ to fit a walrus into one of them paddle boats. It’s difficult enough. Then you gotta come in and make it worse by pushing your seat all the way back! For what? For an extra little two inches of comfort. That’s all you get. I should’ve figured. ‘Cause any person who reclines
their seat on an airplane is exactly the kind of
person who deserves joy from two inches of comfort. You get it? You get it? Like penis. Then there’s those people
who get on an airplane and try to fight me
over my (bleep) armrest! Oh excuse me, sir! I didn’t choose to sit next to your heaping mound of an existence. Fate brought us together. But so help me God, I will use my two moisturized elbows and I’ll jab you right in the windpipe. The last time I checked, we were both on a flight to Acapulco. We weren’t on a flight to WWE ElbowMania, but I’ll turn it into that
if it gets to that point sir! Because I have two elbows right here. I’m not afraid to use them. Next. People who bring food from home. You think I wouldn’t
bring my Cornish game hens from home if I could? I’d eat the hell out of
those Cornish game hens. I’d finish before the plane even took off. That’s how good my Cornish game hens are. They’re so good. But I’m not a monster! You on the other hand
had the (bleep) nerve to bring a plastic baggie
full of cream of shrimp soup! You’re just suckin’ it up with a straw, right in your little plane seat. An airplane is not the
dumpster behind a Burger King. I know that that’s what you’re used to because you’re a piece of garbage. You can’t just eat whatever you want. You know, you can’t just have it your way. You can eat your cream of
shrimp soup in the gutter, like God intended. Then there’s always that person who thinks it’s fun to complain it out. Airport security, like
they’re some kind of special snowflake and everybody else doesn’t have to do everything
that they gotta do. You’re not special just ’cause you have buy one, get one, free shoes from Payless that you don’t wanna take
off your (bleep) feet. We’re all here doing the same thing sir! So take off your (bleep) shoes, pull out your (bleep) laptop, and get in (bleep) line! You sniveling ass weasel! That’s what I say. Next. There’s all those people who know they should check their bags but like still try to sneak
it onto the airplanes, even though it’s too big. You think this plane is just
gonna be magically big enough to fit all your (bleep) shit? I didn’t squeeze all my lotions into tiny little bottles ’cause it’s fun! I did it ’cause them’s the rules. So that why don’t you
just put your luggages into their little luggages rollercoaster, like everybody else and get on the (bleep) plane and shut your (bleep) mouth. Next, there’s all those people
who try to judge you for gettin’ drunk on the airplane. What!? A grown man can’t enjoy
a nice adult beverage? While he’s soaring through the sky like a majestic falcon? Flying in unnatural and
if you’re gonna stick me in a metal tube and launch
me through the (bleep) sky, I’m gonna need a (bleep) drink. Okay? Then there’s those people who take a big old shit, right in the airplane. You’re just poopin’ into
a little plane bucket that we have to carry with us to all the way to where we’re goin’. We just have to fly with your poop. You turned this plane
into a flying outhouse. It’s like that scene from that movie where Dorothy flies her
house to the Wizard, except with way more poop. Then finally, there’s always those people who look perfect everytime
they get off an airplane. (Bleep) you and your
perfect airplane hair, you piece of shit. Everybody should get off an airplane, look like they just survived a fist fight with a swamp monster in
the middle of a hurricane. That’s what I look like. That’s what I look like. Alright everybody. Thank you for watching this week. As always, you can find
our videos every week on whineaboutit.tumblr.com. My page which is facebook.com/buzzfeedmatt and find all our videos on youtube.com/buzzfeedvideo if you want. And that’s it. That’s everythin’. That’s all of it.
♫ Whine about it ♫ Whine about it ♫ Whine about it ♫ Whine about it ♫ Oh god. Oh! I don’t know how to take my shoes off! Uh! I spent $30 at Payless and I don’t want to take off my shoes! So what if they get dirty? Just take off your (bleep) shoes. I’m sick of it.

100 thoughts on “The Worst Types Of People On Airplanes: Whine About It

  1. "If your gonna stick me in a metal tube, and shoot me through the gosh damn sky, I'm gonna need a gosh damn drink! Ok."

  2. "What, a grown man can't enjoy a nice adult beverage while he's soaring through the sky like a majestic falcon?!" LOLOL

  3. Word of the day @3:59 ….
    "I didn't squeeze all my lotions into tiny little bottles 'cause it's fun!"
    "I did it 'cause #DemsTheRules !"
    Bahahaha!

  4. I feel the same way. I fly a lot for work. People just follow the rules!!!!! Why do you think you can get away wtih stuff??? You think you r special, or above the rules???? Whatever, suffer just like the rest of us……..Oh, I am sorry if I offend anyone…

  5. I refuse to believe he actually gets drunk off of so little wine :d I'm smaller than him and it takes me like a bottle to even begin to feel a bit tipsy.

  6. This guy, once he sat next to me but he had 2 seats for himself. Then he ordered a chicken sandwich and a coke and a rum or something. He drunk the drinks at the same damn time then ate the entire sandwich in one bite ONE FREAKING BITE then he stole my armrest.

  7. I love this man! His face combined with his personality is just cake to me. I wonder if he would still be like this if he wasn't tipsy.

  8. I'm using to the sound of a baby crying.I babysitted my baby cousin for 2 years now.
    But some people inconsiderately want airlines that ban babies.

  9. “Everyone should look like they just survived a fist fight with a swamp monster in a hurricane.” OH GOD I CANT STOP LAUGHING!!

  10. I don’t understand why the word “god damn” is always beeped out…. it’s not a swear word god damn it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *